Thursday, 23 October 2008

Speed Cameras: How to beat them...

A million more speeding tickets are being issued now than ten years ago, according to the Conservatives. David Ruffley, the shadow police reform minister and part-time speed demon, declared that the speed cameras were a 'cash cow'.

'It's just another example of this Labour government kicking the motorist when he's down' said the shadow minister. 'It's a bloody disgrace. It's penalises honest, law-abiding citizens when the only thing they've done wrong is break the law – I mean, speed limit.'

It is not all bad news for motorists, however, according to the Institute of Traffic Studies. Dr. Geoffrey Bower, founder of the ITS, claims to have come up with an ingenious way to beat the speed camera every time.

'It involves nothing illegal, and simply a slight modification in driving technique', the boffin explained to The Tart. 'When one sees a sign with speed limit on it - say, 30mph – simply lift your right foot off the accelerator slightly, and then – with the same foot – apply pressure softly to the brakes.'

'Continue to do so until your “speedometer” reads 30mph, or less. This way you'll never be charged with speeding. It works with all speed limits. It's a wonder the government haven't yet closed this loop hole.'

(This story originally appeared on

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